cvxn

2009

December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2008

December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2007

December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January
Tell a joke, then click here.
Jun 1st

There is some free shit even I don't...

Gee, Facebook, why not just cut to the chase and offer me a sequined cougar costume or an...
Jun 1st
from the stumblng tumblr: sushi chef Ken Kawasumi (from...
Jun 1st
webmarc: macuyiko: Home Decor for Absolute Geeks I...
Jun 1st
from superamit: This gave me chills! (From a NY Times...
Jun 1st
Bourdain + Morcheeba = Michael Caine is a bad...
Jun 1st
stumblepeach: bear fight (via the cutest) I can almost...
May 31st
“There are no feminists in the Disney Store.”
— Jeffrey Zeldman (via merlin)
May 31st
“If you allow yourself to really feel and absorb the style of...”
— Luc Sante in an essay about...
May 31st
from karion: Reinforcements Heh. See previous comment....
May 31st
from karion: So very close GAHHHH! HE’S TOO TINY! HE...
May 31st
“Had Dale been a little more mature, a little better suited...”
— Sorry, a little behind on Top...
May 31st
marklisanti: I have no idea how this tattooed person...
May 31st
Fun with HTML
May 31st
“We’ve long known him to be an idiotic pain-in-the-ass,...”
— Tucker Carlson, as described...
May 30th
from brianvan: katiebakes: This New Yorker illustration...
May 30th
“Funny is when you’re serious.”
— Harvey Korman (via...
May 30th
Warch Watch
From holymoly: A friend of mine is a prosthetic make-up artist and was hired to put the shiny pipes...
May 30th
Friend: for some reason I find him adorable, but he's rumored to be an asshole
Me: oh, you mean an "adorbhole"?
May 30th
“Looks like hashtagging #blowjobs wasn’t the fast track...”
— Hashtag humour is so Web 2.5....
May 30th
via homeofthevain: claytoncubitt: A Day in the Country,...
May 30th
Warch Watch
This video is absolutely right… “If you’ve never failed, you’ve never...
May 30th

BREAKING! Harvey Korman dead!

Apparently it was just announced by NBC’s Brian Williams. Nooooooo! More info as the newswires...
May 30th
Listen Listen
cajunboy: Griffin House - The Guy that Says Goodbye I can’t stop listening to this song. (via...
May 30th
“Scotland Yard’s knife crime expert… Deputy...”
— F’realz! (via popbitch)
May 30th

TIONNA SMALLS NEEDS A ROOMMATE!!!

Remind me again why I don’t live in New York yet?  (Hear that, Spiegelman? She said...
May 30th
Sad news for Canucks fans
May 29th
“Tyler Coates = still more famous than Hez!”
— My reaction to Gawker linking...
May 29th
(posted with tweetshots.com)
May 29th
from unbearablybalk: Why do I always have to be Miranda?
May 29th
“As it stands, Plan B is to just keep on givin’er”
— Deaner, prophet.
May 29th
CVXN scoop! Radio Hez books its first guest!
May 29th
toomuchawesome: Sigh. Ah, the reblogger’s lament....
May 29th
from kabby: via reddit :: via ramblings of a...
May 29th
“Anyone who causes Top Chef Chicago spoilers to come up in my...”
— I’m not kidding. My...
May 29th
Ad offering baby for sale a joke, says...
May 29th
Off to boozeschmooze at the NPA “Summer Soiree”...
May 29th
Warch Watch
from fellow Canardviet unreliablewitness: David Cross offers a concise explanation of why...
May 29th
For a few porny seconds, I forgot who this...
May 29th
Warch Watch
toomuchawesome: Gillian Welch - “The Revelator” This will always be in my top five, and serves as...
May 29th
Rumours of his demise are greatly exaggerated
May 29th
“Carrie 2.0”? More like “Carrie...
May 28th

No, THIS rules

I followed some link crumbs from the previous item and ended up at superamit’s free bi-weekly...
May 28th
“Every time you sniff and say somebody has “too much free...”
—  Merlin Mann (via superamit)
May 28th
Em's "Perfect Storm of Asking for It"...
May 28th
unbearablybalk: You people are fucking nuts. The cotton...
May 28th
from Tumblr staff: We’re testing something! If you leave...
May 28th
from alexbalk: Yes, yes, go ahead. Thanks, Balk....
May 28th
from marklisanti: Oh, dear. ...
May 28th
Gould got $15K for the NYT Mag piece?
May 27th
Wow, two in a row from the stumblng tumblr! what a good...
May 27th

Waste not, want not

from the stumblng tumblr: A SERIAL [drunk] driver has been jailed after turning up for a...
May 27th
"AAK! DISCO BATHROBE!"
May 26th
from blakeley: We land on Mars today and it looks as I...
May 26th
(posted with tweetshots.com)
May 26th
Warch Watch
Casino, as performed by Bert & Ernie. Brilliant.
May 26th

Wanna comment via email?

I’m still working on uploading photos, video and my takeaways from the last few days of...
May 25th
Warch Watch
This week’s emotional highs and lows are brought to you by the letters PMS and the song...
May 25th
toomuchawesome: Oh man, please be true please be true...
May 25th
Warch Watch
DISCOVERED! The real Jeff Spiccoli. I will never get tired of this video. (via Gawker’s Ian...
May 24th

Blogstipation will end shortly

Still in session at Vidfest - watch my Twitterfeed for the latest, but for now I’m in a...
May 24th
“I can’t help but notice the numbers here [3 women: 1...”
— kmore, big pimpin at a table...
May 23rd
“That’s why they give us these lanyards. [Mimes hanging...”
— Colleen Coplick, talking about...
May 23rd

Great Moments In Celebrity Statutory...

marklisanti: “Adam, in an attempt to suggest that [R.] Kelly’s head could have been superimposed...
May 23rd
Vidfest Twitterati/Tumblrista meetup today @...
May 23rd
Raul's liveblog of Vidfest08 Blogger...
May 23rd

Intern Kaila tumbls!

alexbalk: I command you all to follow. Done (baaaa baaaa). Now follow my goddamn tumblr, Balk. 
May 22nd

¡Me gusta, me gusta!

from alexbalk: How much do I love this? A fuckload.  Best. Spanish lesson. Ever.
May 22nd
“Geeks are like boaters - always helpful to their own kind.”
—  Miss604 needed an iPod cord,...
May 22nd
May 22nd

SCREW YOU, STEIN!

Thanks for always making sure to include spoilers in the fricking TITLE of your Top Chef recap on...
May 22nd

S'posta

This was supposed to be an entry about the VIDfest opening party and all the fun I had (which I...
May 22nd
Bye y’all! Tumbl at ya after the party!
May 22nd

Boobleganger

I just told somebody I was planning to wear “my JA dress” to the VIDfest opening party....
May 22nd
from nickguidodenton (too long to quote here, but very...
May 22nd
Is Twitter Down?
May 21st

APPIES?

Kick-off the fest in high style. Enjoy cocktails and appies while mingling with digital luminaries...
May 21st

I am sorry I've been so selfish. How ARE...

from alexbalk: “When you read Balk, you just think Balk is smart or funny. You don’t think about...
May 21st
“You won’t find us wringing our hands about the...”
— Gawker’s Alex Pareene...
May 21st
You MAOWED my BATTLESHIP!!!!! (via applearts)
May 21st

PPAD Idol

marklisanti: Within nine months, David Cook and a carefully chosen, appropriately photogenic backup...
May 21st
Delusions of Grammer
May 21st
Through a liquor lens
May 21st
Listen Listen
Flamenco - The Tragically Hip (best lyrics ever)
May 21st
“Can’t we just coin a new term for advertising...”
— My comment on a Gawker item ...
May 21st
And all the little Canerdians say...
May 21st

What is this, BUMblr?

Lot of asshole and poop stuff today on Tumblr that you’ll thank me for not reblogging....
May 21st

Seriously, Twitter.

Get. It. To.Fucking.Gether. Keep slowing my page load time and you’ll die soon.
May 21st
marklisanti: goldenfiddle: jimrock: ratherfancy: ...
May 21st
“The time of getting fame for your name on its own is over....”
— Banksy (via simko) (via...
May 20th
Listen Listen
Vagabond - Greenskeepers (from the GTA4 commercial)
May 20th
May 20th
egotumbling [v. intrans.]
May 20th
VIDfest Tumblr Meetup?
May 20th
alexbalk: blakeley: I’m going to fuck this mushroom...
May 20th
@meganrambin OMG OMG YOU'RE SO HOT I'M...
May 20th

Got my new theme on the Griddle

Still tweaking it a bit, but do you like the new theme? I’ve got comments loaded, so let me...
May 20th
Engage(d)!
May 20th

Fancy Newness

A friend has convinced me to try a different theme for this blog, so I’ll be messing with it a...
May 20th
Chocolate. Covered. BACON. (via Dlisted)
May 19th
LV wrapped dumpster, Gastown. (via Raincoaster, from...
May 19th

The LQ Index

from marklisanti: 94: The precise number of Fahrenheit degrees which, when exceeded, turns...
May 19th
Warch Watch
You must watch these. Following Spiegs’ vintage commercial lead, here are three mindblowing...
May 19th
from alexbalk: This does seem to be a practical and...
May 18th
Goodbye, Al
May 18th
Firehose - Realtime Twitter Timeline
May 18th
Warch Watch
“FUCK IT, WE’LL DO IT LIVE”… The DANCE REMIX!!! (video by Torrey Meeks)
May 18th
Here’s what Hodgman is Twittering about. If none of my...
May 17th
Mr. Schrute, you had me at "Panama"
May 17th

Webby Shmoozes 2.0

Thanks to the gracious auspices of “supermodel” Kris Krug, it looks as thought I will...
May 17th
The Hez and The Wook, together at last!!
May 16th
 from alexbalk: Dear New York Times, “Just keep adding a...
May 16th
Ex-Boyfriend Jewelry
May 16th
“…We’re going to give equal rights to gay people,...”
— “How The Valley Put...
May 16th
May 16th
from jdel: david: caro: David, I think Google has some...
May 16th
 from brianvan: frangry: I like this. Because I’m...
May 16th
Nothin to hate here, but it turns out Whitney’s figure...
May 16th
“He was asking for solace from Debbie…”
— …But I guess Debbie...
May 16th
May 15th
Tom Yum Hez
May 14th

Wooklicious

Me: [When visiting Korea] You will apparently have to fall in love with a guy named Rain. Or maybe there is another weather-themed hottie they have earmarked for your pleasure. Hail? Light Smattering?
Wook: hee. Binky and I talked about me falling in love with Rain
Me: Scattered Flurries? I'd go for him even with the ADD. Love is about seeing past things like that. But I hear Dense Fog can be a real neanderthal at times, so I say best to give him a swerve
Wook: what about Dew Point?
Me: GAY. Duh.
Wook: dude point
Me: douche point
Me: And Low Tide is like the R. Kelly of Korea, so don't even go there
Me: I'm so blogging this chat, dude
Wook: ha. i'll try to be more adorable, then
Me: i was just about to ask that. can we lose the top, too?
Wook: are you secretly Ron Fair?
Me: I have my private Ron Fair moments. But don't we all have a little Ron Fair in us, lurking somewhere? Making the other parts of us terribly uncomfortable, wearing inappropriate hats, offering horrifyingly banal witticisms and criticisms
Wook: and being sexually ambiguous
Me: SNAP! No you di'n't!
Wook: oh come on. he's Tommy Motolla crossed with Paul Lynde
Me: Stop it, you're making Mark McGrath nervous.
Wook: you know Mikey Minden had to earn that gig
Me: Ron Fair is no center square. Mikey's lips are frosted with permabeej. Or is it permafrost? Anyway, he dips below the tree line and goes for the frozen trunk
Wook: i don't think mikey has genitals. that's why he's always so angry. he's got a permatuck
Me: I would be angry too if I looked like him and couldn't hatefuck anyone
Wook: owing to a terrible accident involving the splits
Me: and a tiny bit of self-awareness that was quickly kiboshed... forever! I bet the most uncomfortable moments during taping of that show are when all the dudes have to use the can at the same time.... Mark McGrath, Ron Fair, Mikey Minden and the vocal coach that looks like the male Star Jones... imagine those guys all lined up at the urinals? (Oh and let's not forget Robin.)
Wook: like Mikey uses a urinal. he was born a sitter and he'll die a sitter
Me: hahhaa. Male Star Jones looks more like Star Jones than Star Jones ever did. David Gest meets Star Jones. That was the combo we discussed earlier
Wook: with a soupcon of the black dude from Designing Women. they both have that perpetual pearl-clutching look about them
Me: Meshach Taylor
Wook: there you go
Me: HAHAHAHAH! It was sooooo worth looking up. "Star Meshach Taylor Gest Jones".
Wook: but his friends call him Stach
Me: And they just sit around in their Ed Hardy skull bedazzled hoodies and whiskered jeans and sing show tunes and bitch about Robin and Ron and Lil' Kim. I know you're jealous. I certainly am. Do you think Mikey is part of their group or do he and Stach have issues from a previous relationship gone sour?
Wook: i think Mikey cossets himself away
Me: But it is a rage cosseting, make no mistake. It is not a proactive cosseting
Wook: ha. i bought a proactive cosseting kit from tv. it was a let-down
Me: They always are
May 14th
Experimenting with soup for tomorrow…
May 13th
Sue’s friend David wanted to test drive his new boat...
May 13th
Yay! Impromptu boat ride up Indian Arm! Pictures forthcoming…
May 13th
Listen Listen
Billie Holiday sings Jerome Kern (1937)
May 12th
Best Survivor jury EVAR! Faketits goes lezzy for Parv and Ozzy declares his love for Amanda?!? Jeff...
May 12th
“The only news team honoured for “Best Overall...”
— Um, sure, GlobalTV…...
May 12th
Me: Yay, The Princess Bride is on!
Spiegs: What channel??
Me: Um, YTV...
Me: Sorry
Spiegs: Crap. Fucking Noodlia.
Me: I'm guessing you don't get that [in NYC]. It's like Cansnackattack Nickelodeon
Spiegs: No, of course we don't get it... we don't get Pelt TV either!
Me: How about the Syrup Channel?
Spiegs: MTV=Maple TV
Me: BET=Beaver Entertainment Television
Me: I have a show there
Me: It's called "Hot Dam! with Hez"
May 12th
I like to think she can hear me...
May 12th
Off to work up an appetite walking to Shezzer’s for dinner and a much needed catch up sesh.
May 11th
Warch Watch
My bro Spiegs just posted this on Gawker and it deserves immediate reposting. (From Mike...
May 10th

Outtakes

from alexbalk: A couple of weeks ago we did an Q&A with the great composer John Williams in...
May 10th
I Would Like To Know Who The Crazy Person Is...
May 10th
Warch Watch
As Shirley says, “I made it through all of last year… and I’m here.” And...
May 10th
“Boobs are the gropium of my people.”
— Ms. Zombified and Utterly...
May 9th
“What could be better than a salon of erudite and sexy...”
— From Gawker’s commenter...
May 9th

The Official Richard Lawson Coming Out...

from nickguidodenton: I can’t think of a better way for Lolcait to come roaring out of the closet...
May 9th
Buckley’s Mixture is the unrepentant asshole of the medicine cabinet. “Yeah, I taste...
May 9th
“That’s ‘wristwatch off, armpit hairs tickling...”
— BLH, who makes funny for a...
May 9th
from marklisanti: My new favorite website, for at least the...
May 9th
I didn’t actually use any Clearasil today, but their commercials are really doing wonders for...
May 9th
from hezful: This exquisite dish of poached lobster,...
May 8th
FYI: Tumblr, to the uninitiated
May 8th
Best of CL: Dear person with a wooden leg...
May 7th
Sadness! Nurse Johanson will no longer get it...
May 7th
Awesomeness of epic proportions afoot. Hezmerized by the possibilities.
May 7th
From The Amy Honey farewell tour at the Railway this past...
May 7th
Warch Watch
Well, whaddya know? I just found Amy Honey’s song “Time Machine” on YouTube! After...
May 7th
Last.fm + YouTube = your personalized video...
May 7th
(from the Photoshop Disasters blog, via Gawker)
May 7th
Blew out my voice in the first two sets of singalong last night. Jackson, Boots, AC/DC all killed...
May 6th
As The Gawk Turns
May 6th
Sometimes I’m not Hez… I’m Phillip’s pillow. He’s purring like crazy...
May 6th
(via marco)
May 5th
Hodgman tweet du jour
May 5th
Warch Watch
from alexbalk: Watch the one below first. And then, if you don’t know who he is, go look up Armando...
May 5th
Warch Watch
(via alexbalk) Watch this one first.
May 5th
Listen Listen
from goldenfiddle: Alexis Weissenberg :: Suite Bergmanesque: 3. “Clair de Lune”  One of my...
May 4th
Parallel rulers… Yay.
May 4th
Warch Watch
Executed… then resurrected… all in the same Gawker post. Awesome.
May 3rd
“The best way to get back at me for stealing your dumb...”
— from [Gawker video guy]...
May 3rd
I guess there’s no way I’m getting any sleep now… great.
May 2nd
Well, that was unpleasant! I’ll be getting someone to put that bedroom door handle back on so...
May 2nd
Governor the Barbarian is on the late movie. Lotta grunting, lotta pelts, lotta axes.
May 2nd
Nice to know I’m still an equal opportunity annoyer.
May 2nd

the other Spiegelman

from [first name still unknown] spiegelman: I wonder if any of the people following this tumblr...
May 2nd
Behind the scenes at The Colbert Report...
May 2nd
Still wide awake at 5 AM. Fuckyouverymuch, coffee!
May 1st
Okay, I yawned… so maybe not WIDE awake. But about to prove why God invented bongs.
May 1st
Twittersnooze
May 1st
Thin crust pepperoni pizza and tequila with my Colbert lets me pretend for a second I’m in...
May 1st

Hipsterville Recreation Ideas

This ongoing Gawker story about insufferable hipster kickball leagues in Brooklyn prompted this...
May 1st