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whydoihaveablog:

animalstalkinginallcaps:

ATIAC will return on Saturday, December 31st because I’ve been sick for six days straight and all I want to do is sleep forever.

I quit smoking day before yesterday, so the veins in my neck may or may not be prominently featured in this video and I may or may not have said “fuck you” to a can of soup earlier.

(They are prominently featured, I definitely told a can of soup to go fuck itself and I am swearing like a madman for 64% of this video. I cried in the shower for no reason this morning. I would also like a cigarette.)

Pretty please, donate $1.00 so that I can get married. I know you probably thought “Everyone else will donate,” but you were wrong, and you ruined Christmas.

Sorry for cussing.

“The only way I can get married is if you give me one dollar, because I’m broke as shit all the time. You wanna know why? Because I’m not doing my job because I’m making a cat say something! That’s ridiculous, but it’s true.”

I never passed on Tess Lynch’s 5 Dollar Friday, and despite my cunty exterior I’m a sucker for love stories, so who am I to stand in the way of this dude getting married?

$5. What goes around comes around. I think I used my $5 to partially pay for a pipe on Etsy. This guy is going to meet his girl’s family so he can marry her. Equally noble pursuits, if you ask me.

I felt the same way earlier and donated a fiver myself.  One because he asked and four for all the people who ignored him the first time around. Good luck, stranger.