cvxn

Hez: i hear there's gonna be a metre of snow [up in Whistler this week], which means a little outdoor experience...
Friend: are you sporty?
Hez: I am semi sporty. maybe a zipline, or better yet, DOGSLEDDING!
I am crippled with excitement about the idea of dogs I don't even know cooperating to move me around
Friend: hahahaha
you're hysterical
Hez: thanks
Wait and see what happens if I go dogsledding
Friend: please youtube that
Hez: I will go APESHIT if that happens. I fucking LOVE dogs
It will also be nice to get out of the city, into a wintry land of hot tubs
Friend: you know how to live
Hez: Getting dogs to cooperate for me is the icing on the cake
It's like a whole other species is working to serve my needs. Talk about kickass.
And olde tymey
Friend: you are their queen
Hez: I rule with an iron hand in a velvet glove
Friend: better than poodles
Hez: hahahaha
i can't take Service Poodles seriously. It's like when a lapdancer tries to pass herself off as a nuclear physicist
Friend: hahahaha
rarely works
Hez: although a physicist could be trained to give a passable lapdance
hell, I could be trained to do that.
while quoting some science shit I memorized from Stephen Hawking
SKILLZ... I HAZ THEM

Twittering