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BristolGate: This Just In

marklisanti:

The McCain campaign shortly is expected to release a statement indicating that newly pregnant teen Bristol Palin has also claimed full responsibility for the controversial dismissal of the public safety commissioner who refused to fire a state trooper after his contentious divorce from Sarah Palin’s sister, touching off the TrooperGate scandal currently dogging her mother’s Alaskan administration and her Repbulican Vice Presidential campaign. Additionally, Bristol, 17, will disclose her role in convincing her mom to initially support the the so-called “Bridge to Nowhere” she later denounced when the pork-barrel project became a national laughingstock, saying, “I told Mom there was some totally rad caribou hunting on Gravina island, so why not squeeze Washington for $220 million that would make our weekend deer-bagging outings a little easier? I realize now it was immature of me to nag my mother until she lobbied for the bridge, and I apologize to her, Senator McCain, and the Base for, like, putting my own selfish desires ahead of those of my fellow citizens.”