
A cracking good read, if only for the description of The Donald’s hair.
Seems pretty obvious no?
Did Mitt Romney cheat in Wednesday’s debate? This slowed-down closeup posted to YouTube makes it appear as though he reaches into his pocket, pulls out a paper and places it on his lectern, in violation of rules that stated:
No props, notes, charts, diagrams, or other writings or other tangible things may be brought into the debate by any candidate.
(Attention gif makers.)
Someone should find the clip where he rushes to go back to retrieve those papers after the debate is over and the Obamas and Romneys are leaving the stage.
He really believes the rules don’t apply to him. He is the Omnidouche.
Almost perfect meme is almost perfect!
(CockSUCKER, please. As one who performs the act in question on occasion, I think I would know.)
(Source: nsfwhumor)
Deadspin explains why there’s an NHL lockout in a very simple Q&A.
My takeaway: the league is demanding the player’s union give up a large share of total revenue, because the league keeps teams in markets that don’t have a single fuck to give about hockey, while keeping teams out of markets that have infinite fucks to give about hockey.
tl;dr: Fuck Gary Bettman.
| — | Today, Mitt Romney Lost the Election - Bloomberg (via wilwheaton) |
Hi Colin,
I’ve recently discovered you on Twitter through friends, and after reading some of your tweets I’d like to ask you some questions. As there may be some people reading this who are unfamiliar with Colin’s style of comedy, here are some of his recent jokes:
If that’s not…
I had know idea who this angry, friendless misogynist douche Colin Kane was, but this excellent letter has given me every incentive to avoid him like… an angry friendless misogynist douche.
Last night I narrowly avoided running into someone a huge douche it was my misfortune to be roommates with for a month a while back (long story, requires wine & weed if you want to hear it) and woke up kind of wishing I had stepped to him and unleashed the unholy Hezfire. (Thinking I would have led with “Oh hai! I totally expected you to be back in jail by now!” and ended with “Boil your fucking ass of a face, you pathetic, chain-smoking shitnugget.” Feels great just to type that.)
The moral of this (and every) story: NEVER TRUST A GROWN MAN WHO DRINKS SUNNY D.
When the sight of some cute dog makes you all soft-hearted and seasonally apologetic and you’re about to say sorry to the “internet boyfriend” you were kind of cunty to a few months ago because he never seemed to have any time to flirtchat anymore…
And then you notice his tweets about his GIRLFRIEND.
So yeah… fuck you, buddy… I meant every nasty word.
Is Sad Boardroom-Birthday Kirk Cameron the new Sad Sidewalk-Sandwich Keanu?
Looks like today’s cuntery is off to a ROARING start.
IRONY-RICH UPDATE: Was just convinced to delete this tweet after a facemelting by someone who regularly makes fun of fat moms and dads on their tumblr.
Fieri’s concession stands—the full name was “Guy Fieri’s Ballpark Food With Balls By Guy Fieri”—were open for only a few months, and I never got to taste the food. As a condition of Fieri’s departure, several drums of Tex Wasabi Kickin’ Dippin-aise, Do U BBQ Dippin-aise and Rockin’ Horse-Ranch Dippin-aise were destroyed, and 5,000 Fieri bobbleheads, initially part of a planned fan giveaway, were sent back to the manufacturer, where they were reportedly altered slightly and sold as Shaggy 2 Dope bobbleheads at the 2010 Gathering of the Juggalos.
My discussions with the fans and employees who tasted and produced the food revealed a general consensus that—with the exception of the Whoa Whoa Avocado Margarita, which former Padres outfielder Brian Giles described as “fucking toxic”—the food was actually better than it looks in print. Fieri, though, was far more closely involved with the implementation and day-to-day operation than anticipated. He was also something of a taskmaster. “He was at the stadium in I think it was a series against the Marlins,” a former Guy Fieri’s Ballpark Food With Balls employee named Ernesto told me. “Guy was partying with Jon Gosselin, Chris Kirkpatrick from NSYNC and Representative (Brian) Bilbray. They were all behind the counter and I guess they were pretty drunk and Guy was on his longboard, just going down the line and yelling at everyone. And his sunglasses I guess fell off the back of his head and into one of the fryers? And the health code says you have to shut the fryers down when that happens, but he told us to keep cooking and that one of us was going to have to get him new Oakleys. And that day I was just like, they are not paying me enough, dude. And the next day I told my boss I wanted to work the Dippin’ Dots cart or I was fucking done.”
”| — | David Roth, Snacking About Baseball: Foodstuffs Of The Major League Parks (via dailybunch) |
Revenge is a dish best served with a side of piping hot ESCANDALO!
So yeah, don’t be surprised if Mike Fisher is a little bit distracted out there on the ice tonight. Couldn’t come at a better time, as far as I’m concerned.
