cvxn

I'm Hez. please enjoy my internets!
@Hez on twitter | cvxn on instagram/statigram
stuff I've written for HelloGiggles is here
contact me here or just ask me anything

I was going to say that Yahoo!+Tumblr means exactly jack shit for me, since I already overuse exclamation points, and I’ve been at the same follower plateau for A YEAR, but then I went to Flickr and tried to post this photo that I took a few years ago, and it was a fucking NIGHTMARE*, so thanks, Yahoo! for making a thing that used to work into something super shitty and HAVE FUN STORMING THE CASTLE!
[*I had to fucking SCREENGRAB my own photo that I took because the original is on a long dead hard-drive and Flickr won’t let you download your own goddamn files. Fuck you with barbed wire fire, Flickr. Seriously GDIAF.]

I was going to say that Yahoo!+Tumblr means exactly jack shit for me, since I already overuse exclamation points, and I’ve been at the same follower plateau for A YEAR, but then I went to Flickr and tried to post this photo that I took a few years ago, and it was a fucking NIGHTMARE*, so thanks, Yahoo! for making a thing that used to work into something super shitty and HAVE FUN STORMING THE CASTLE!

[*I had to fucking SCREENGRAB my own photo that I took because the original is on a long dead hard-drive and Flickr won’t let you download your own goddamn files. Fuck you with barbed wire fire, Flickr. Seriously GDIAF.]

saloandseverine:

Baisers volés (Stolen Kisses), François Truffaut, 1968

GPOY. (Sometimes I want to know, and sometimes I think “fuck them! Who cares what they think.”)

saloandseverine:

Baisers volés (Stolen Kisses), François Truffaut, 1968

GPOY. (Sometimes I want to know, and sometimes I think “fuck them! Who cares what they think.”)

WHATEVER, you guys (other than the lovely lady to whom I was communicating above). I know it’s stupid, but it bums me out that this just sits there with one star and people who find stuff like this funny never bother to RT me to their followers, some of whom might be empowered to include something I say in one of those “people we think are funny” lists I have never been on since I joined the infernal Twittering service in 2007. Is there not enough room for all of us on the internet and its concomitant listicles!?
Signed, 
Irked Person At A Social Media Plateau For Like A Year, Writing A Post I Will Likely Delete Later Because I Sound Like A Stupid Gross Baby

WHATEVER, you guys (other than the lovely lady to whom I was communicating above). I know it’s stupid, but it bums me out that this just sits there with one star and people who find stuff like this funny never bother to RT me to their followers, some of whom might be empowered to include something I say in one of those “people we think are funny” lists I have never been on since I joined the infernal Twittering service in 2007. Is there not enough room for all of us on the internet and its concomitant listicles!?

Signed, 

Irked Person At A Social Media Plateau For Like A Year, Writing A Post I Will Likely Delete Later Because I Sound Like A Stupid Gross Baby

Does the Chrome Stars thing work for every Chrome user?

Because despite numerous attempts, it doesn’t work for me, and I’m starting to take it personally.

Don’t get it twisted…

I love Xmas, but the “Posting The Same Damn Screenshots From Love Actually” season can’t fucking be over fast enough.

GPOY

GPOY

(Source: stabla)

Achievement sort of unlocked: Viewy Kitsilano Starbucks Yoga Pants Dog Walking Coffee…

Except the wait was just long enough I wasn’t sure how little Kevin Fredderline here was going to behave in my absence. Then I remembered how much good coffee was left behind for me, and that dogfriend and I could enjoy even viewier shit from his place (plus there is the bonus of someone practising classical piano in the next building, which I enjoy far more than listening to Kitsilano Yoga Pants Ladies) and after he did his biznass, we came home and did that… until he got way too into the plants on the deck and lost his privileges. 

The pianist is now learning La Bamba (I finally got it, but not because of anything but the notes), and had an adorable go at Flight of the Bumblebee yesterday. 

Mad viewy shit, dogfriend, great coffee, sweats I don’t feel compelled to do anything in but cook, eat and Internet, and a thoroughly charming audio soundtrack (although far better on classics than pops, FWIW)… That’s how we unlock now.

Achievement sort of unlocked: Viewy Kitsilano Starbucks Yoga Pants Dog Walking Coffee…

Except the wait was just long enough I wasn’t sure how little Kevin Fredderline here was going to behave in my absence. Then I remembered how much good coffee was left behind for me, and that dogfriend and I could enjoy even viewier shit from his place (plus there is the bonus of someone practising classical piano in the next building, which I enjoy far more than listening to Kitsilano Yoga Pants Ladies) and after he did his biznass, we came home and did that… until he got way too into the plants on the deck and lost his privileges.

The pianist is now learning La Bamba (I finally got it, but not because of anything but the notes), and had an adorable go at Flight of the Bumblebee yesterday.

Mad viewy shit, dogfriend, great coffee, sweats I don’t feel compelled to do anything in but cook, eat and Internet, and a thoroughly charming audio soundtrack (although far better on classics than pops, FWIW)… That’s how we unlock now.

Yup. Definitely struck a nerve.

(And yes, I am aware that by bitching about this I’ve probably screwed myself out of any potential Tumblr writing gig. But hey, I alienate more potential employers by noon than most of people do all day!)

Wow, Tumblrbot, those are some pretty edgy suggestions there. Dare I risk following such unknowns? How can I be sure they’ll talk about iPads and girlfriends and resort holidays enough to make me feel properly homicidal? I NEED TO KEEP UP THE BILE TO FUEL THE HATE CAULDRON.

Wow, Tumblrbot, those are some pretty edgy suggestions there. Dare I risk following such unknowns? How can I be sure they’ll talk about iPads and girlfriends and resort holidays enough to make me feel properly homicidal? I NEED TO KEEP UP THE BILE TO FUEL THE HATE CAULDRON.

So let us now all sit back and watch everyone in the Tumblr “Spotlight” brag about being included in the Tumblr “Spotlight”

cajunboy:

Nah, I’m not jealous or anything.

Tumblr: Finding New Ways To Remind You Of Your Utter Insignificance To The Internet (Even Though You Totally Know People, Dammit) Every Day!*

(*We would have also accepted “Tumblr: Making Sure Exactly The Same People Get All The Recognition All The Time So You Can Continue Blogging In Total Obscurity Forever!”) 

Real talk, y’all.

Real talk, y’all.

“Not having a smartphone that is tracking you is the new black.”

Laura M. Holson (via kateoplis)

Still rocking my ancient Nokia 2125i, bitches. This thing can barely store two text messages, let alone track my ish. Fuck a Skynet. 

“Various men on the Tumblrs have been yakkin’ bout Katrina Bowden’s ass and Christina Hendricks’ ass and which ass is the better ass. And they’re internet-fighting about it and calling each other misogynists and talking about past conquests and future conquests and sorry whatever I got bored and stopped reading. So you like skinny blondes. So you like curvy redheads. Some of you are even aware of the feminist issues behind the photoshopped pictures of the asses in question. Whatever. Just don’t talk about it like you’re doing women a favor by preferring their physical type. We get talked down to enough as it is.”

Life Aquatic Overshares:

THIS. 

OMG OMG OMG GUYS! PEOPLE I DON’T FOLLOW ON TUMBLR ARE EATING BURGERS!

Can a NYT trend piece be far behind?

(SRSLY Tumblr, RELAX. NOT “EVERYONE” is eating burgers. Maybe like 3 people… people I don’t follow anymore. And this is part of why.)

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