cvxn

I'm Hez. please enjoy my internets!
@Hez on twitter | cvxn on instagram/statigram
stuff I've written for HelloGiggles is here
contact me here or just ask me anything

I just love Joey B so much.

I just love Joey B so much.

(Source: gifwich)

pasttensevancouver:

Dorothy’s Jazz “Hangover,” Friday 24 April 1925
Source: Vancouver Sun

Totally stealing this excuse.

pasttensevancouver:

Dorothy’s Jazz “Hangover,” Friday 24 April 1925

Source: Vancouver Sun

Totally stealing this excuse.

Srsly, American friends, what is WITH this gross green bean & onion thing you guys all seem to be so into? Shit looks NAST.

Srsly, American friends, what is WITH this gross green bean & onion thing you guys all seem to be so into? Shit looks NAST.

CL post of the day from a very angry Vancouverite.

lifeaquatic:

cool playoff beard, bro

It’s not lost on any of us here in Vancouver that Grapes was wearing Sharks colours (there is no yellow in the Canucks uniform). Everybody knows he has plenty of choices in his wardrobe, and he always sends a message with what he wears. Seriously, dude? 

lifeaquatic:

cool playoff beard, bro

It’s not lost on any of us here in Vancouver that Grapes was wearing Sharks colours (there is no yellow in the Canucks uniform). Everybody knows he has plenty of choices in his wardrobe, and he always sends a message with what he wears. Seriously, dude? 

LULZ du jour

Just found out I am “missing” an “event” tonight for “influential Vancouver bloggers”…

…hosted by Hotmail.

The Canucks’ Green Men (superfans/unofficial mascots) got the riot act read to them by the NHL after a “complaint” from the pussyass babies in Nashville, and I’m 99% sure it was the Country Bitch herself, Mrs. Mike Fisher, who got all butthurt at seeing a cutout of herself in a Canucks jersey and got up on her diamond-studded cowboy-booted hind legs to whine at the league. Ridiculously, the Green Men are no longer “allowed” to touch the glass next to the penalty box or do their trademark handstands, but after the shitstorm this is now causing with the fans, you can expect them to bring it tonight… because they made the trip to Nashville. And they also made this video as a nice “Fuck You” to the league.

Egad

Nothing like returning to Day 2 of a party in progress to pick up the purse you forgot (!) and finding out you had apparently been walking around NUDE the night before.

On the upside, at least I met the girl whose phone number is written on my boob. (No homo.)

That’s the fourth person today that’s fucked up the your/you’re thing

This is deeply troubling to me as a member of society. Like, profoundly worrisome. I may need stronger drugs.

(J/K! I always need stronger drugs.)

I will always put two spaces after a period. I’m 31. I ain’t changing.

ninety9:

peterfeld:

evangotlib:

Seconded.  Except I’m 36.

I unlearned this at an even older age, it wasn’t hard. But type whatever way you like! Don’t listen to lectures. These design-freak campaigns against double-spacing, caps and Comic Sans are so anal!

Now, when it comes to annoyingisms like contrived slang (“sammies”), lolspeak meets 2007ish Gawkspeak (“teh olds,” “oh noes”), widely copied in-jargon (“In which I…”), faux-nerdy tweeisms (“the Intertubes”) and, you know, blogger tics like, um, putting periods after. every. word. to show seething frustration (or, “Really, Evan? Are you really going to put two spaces after a period?”), making every word in a sentence a different link (not going to bother showing that one in action), spelling “goddammit” with an ‘n’, “evarrrr,” “leurve,” and the dreaded “effing” — Chris Mohney once did an awesome roundup of blogger cliches on Gawker — it’s high time you all got your act together.

I wonder how many of these double space after a period stalwarts would lecture you that they buy Apple products because ‘good design matters.’

Reblogged for the utterly hilarious assumption that somehow 31 is the new “I’m too old to change.” Somebody has obviously slipped some top-notch hallucinogen into your juice box, sonny. My 41-year-old ass is gonna go sit with my fellow double-space-after-period-unlearner “Pappy” Feld, sip on that Special Reserve prune juice I’ve been saving, and snort some fat lines of crushed up Geritol.

(Source: themattsmith)

Yeah, definitely not going to do that. I had a point-misser who got all ‘hind legs’ when I posted this on my FB, and I was all “DUDE, NOT HERE.”
My internets are a safe place for Obama people.

Yeah, definitely not going to do that. I had a point-misser who got all ‘hind legs’ when I posted this on my FB, and I was all “DUDE, NOT HERE.”

My internets are a safe place for Obama people.

“Smokers know we’re doing a bad thing, which is one reason why it’s so very good. But despite the things we have done, we’re not responsible for New York’s multi-billion dollar deficit. We’re one with you people who love french fries and a nice beverage and not getting hassled for taking photos in public places. Which is to say: when you’re fined for ripping open a salt packet in Bryant Park, don’t come crying to us.”

Kaila Hale-Stern, “Keep Your Hands Off My 67-Cent Cigarettes” (via: the Awl)

People expecting sympathy for their complaints on their cancer delivery system are pretty hilermo.

(Source: villagevoice)

mercurypdx:

thedailywhat:

Conspiracy Theory of the Day: Kettle Chips and juice boxes making Americans gay? So says Alex Jones — the world’s foremost authority on tin-foil hats.

[videogum.]

I would think that if the government was going through all this trouble to make everyone gay, they would not have a problem with allowing gay marriage or repealing DADT.

^FUNNY BECAUSE TRUE^

(Source: thedailywhat)

“I tend to like mid-list, largely American, or American-directed, work. My aesthetic, I suppose someone might say, isn’t overly sophisticated, more directed at heart than head.”

Sigh. 

Why the fuck did you bother going to TIFF then, glib, unfunny person who just wasted my time, shat on my nation’s superb film offerings (while happily accepting our hospitality), and pissed me off, all in the same sentence? Have some fucking manners.

I close your tab and I close it with disgust, madam!

Well, certainly among the most flattering.

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