Hey Topherchris? I know the poison-spiked dildo and the acid raptor venom thing are probably tough, but can we at least get some kind of farty sound effect rigged into the “block” button? Don’t front like you wouldn’t LOVE that.
Yeah, I kind of want to see that, too.
If I can’t get #Rsn4Bzn to catch on as a hashtag, then my internet life has been worthless.
OK BUT THERE BETTER BE WEED BREAKS
so, this past weekend i threw myself a birthday party. a david puddy themed birthday. for those of you who don’t get it, there is a seinfeld episode in which elaine’s boyfriend david puddy asks the fundamental question that has haunted me for most of my life: “Oh. Hey, how come people don’t have dip for dinner? Why is it only a snack, why can’t it be a meal, you know? I don’t understand stuff like that.”
& i was always like, “you know what david puddy? I DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT EITHER!”
so, i threw myself a small, david puddy themed birthday. #justdips
i have discovered a couple things:
1. it’s the best birthday to have if you want to ensure people will bring food to contribute. it seems that everyone loves making dips!
2. it’s the worst birthday to have because you will have ten different leftover dips in your fridge for the next [insert whatever increment of time you need to demolish an entire fridge full of snacks].
3. it’s the BEST birthday to have because you will have ten different leftover dips in your fridge for the next [insert whatever increment of time you need to demolish an entire fridge full of snacks]!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE DIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Plus, you can totally put “crudites” on the invitations and when is THAT not a good thing?
OH MY GOD these shoes are even hotter from the back view. I must have them.
Spritzer on ice in New York City, isn’t it a pity? You never had anything to mix with that. Listen to the ‘tender behind the open chest in the hall. Room service calls.
I’m blue and green, green and blueueueueue.
I’ve just decided these really need to happen in my life if it’s going to be any kind of a life. My pulse is quickening just thinking about them on my feet. (Seems a fine time to remind you I have a birthday coming up in a few months, gentlemen of the internet!)
(video via acontinuation)
Happy Valentine’s Day! My plans were to finish this paper, go to class, go to work, start another paper, and then drink all of the wine (all of the wine) while watching Blue Valentine and crying/masturbating myself to sleep, but let’s be honest, the main reason anyone wanted to watch Blue Valentine was to see Ryan Gosling go down on Michelle Williams (the white one). So here is that very scene, which almost gave the movie an NC-17 rating which is kind of ridiculous given how tame it is. Now my plans for the evening are shot.
You’re welcome. I’m sorry to remind you that you’ll never have Gosling’s head between your thighs.
It’s worth it to see this again.