cvxn

I'm Hez. please enjoy my internets!
@Hez on twitter | cvxn on instagram/statigram
stuff I've written for HelloGiggles is here
contact me here or just ask me anything

“A couple of days ago someone was like, “Hashtag round butt!” And I was like, “What’s a hashtag? Is it some sort of hash? Like, ‘Tag, you’re it! Haaaaaash!’” And they were like, [yells] “No! You know! Like, hashtag, man! Hashtag!” And I was like, “No. I’m a fucking adult.”

Vincent Kartheiser, brave lone social media holdout.

[via]

(via formerlydietcock)

I’m sorry, but fuck thoroughly off, Mister Smuggy Smugson who has enough money to hire an assistant to use his phone and computer for him. Gee, I wonder how you’ve been able to insulate yourself from something like that.

CHECK YO RICH-DUDE-ON-A-TV-SHOW PRIVILEGE, BUDDY.

I loathe humblebraggy celebrity Luddites. (I loathe ALL humblebraggy Luddites, but rich ones are the most insufferable.)

And there are few things worse than some child telling me that their lack of participation in cultural literacy makes them more grown up than I am.

In conclusion, FUCK OFF FASTER.

waroftheroses:

*crying*

I sure find myself the best Spinstertine’s Day cards. It’s like I just GET me.

waroftheroses:

*crying*

I sure find myself the best Spinstertine’s Day cards. It’s like I just GET me.

(Source: bornbeforethewind)

Dudes telling ladies to “smile” is the LOWEST form of human discourse, right?

Dudes telling ladies to “smile” is the LOWEST form of human discourse, right?

(Source: phytomastigophora)

lifeaquatic:

blownspeakers:

hockeyplayerswithpets:

Mike Richards and his dog, Arnold
(Via Nevin Giesbrecht Photography)

New favourite lockout blog.

Could make some inappropriate jokes here but I won’t.

THIS IS ALL HOCKEY FANS HAVE NOW.

lifeaquatic:

blownspeakers:

hockeyplayerswithpets:

Mike Richards and his dog, Arnold

(Via Nevin Giesbrecht Photography)

New favourite lockout blog.

Could make some inappropriate jokes here but I won’t.

THIS IS ALL HOCKEY FANS HAVE NOW.

(Source: blonde-zombie)

GPOY 4 LYFE

GPOY 4 LYFE

(Source: lydiaaliciagarcia)

If my food allergies were a thing I could punch

I’d have bloody knucks all the time.

Cocksuckers.

So glad I have only 3 more days to have to pretend to care about zombies.

I get it, your face is falling off & you like brains. Woo.

Google Plus

negevrockcity:

Just started using it. Not sure how I feel about this.

My 2nd round invite came through just as they were deciding it was “over capacity” (although I’m pretty sure people who got theirs minutes before me got in), but what really amazes me about this whole beta invite thing is that AFTER 29 YEARS OF USING THE INTERNET [not a typo] somebody/something (in this case, G+) can still make me feel like I’m not nerdy enough.

I suppose there is one level on which this vaguely makes sense, given that little kids are the only people on earth not sick to the point of Ebola from hearing about this batshit crazy, media whoring fucktard.
(But really, wasn’t a spritzer of hydrochloric acid available? They couldn’t have looked THAT hard.)

I suppose there is one level on which this vaguely makes sense, given that little kids are the only people on earth not sick to the point of Ebola from hearing about this batshit crazy, media whoring fucktard.

(But really, wasn’t a spritzer of hydrochloric acid available? They couldn’t have looked THAT hard.)

SRSLY you guys

Why do I even still live in a city where I don’t have the maximum amount of boyfriends… let alone ANY boyfriends?!?

Is there a Tumblweeds category for broke, cunty, Canadian spinsters?

Y’all better have a seat, because I am OWNING that shit.

THAT FILE. Just grab it and run, Johnny!

THAT FILE. Just grab it and run, Johnny!

kissmyflash:

The Downtown Eastside needs to be destroyed. The more residents who are pushed out, the better. It is unconscionable that such a hellhole should exist in a province as wealthy as B.C., in a country as advanced as Canada.

I mean, why bother trying to salvage an important historical part of Vancouver when it’s full of untouchables?  Really, if they wanted to change wouldn’t they at least *try* to help themselves?  I say we just bring in the wrecking balls and get rid of it once and for all.  It’s not like Vancouver would be the first place to rewrite their history.  Even great countries like Italy, Germany & the Soviet Union had leaders who thought it was a good idea, as recently as the 1930s & 40s.

*SLAP*

Mr. Baron please get what I’m sure is a head full of $50 hair products out of your manscaped ass.  Is the DTES my favourite place in the city?  No.  But I do know that it has been a vital part of Vancouver’s history, and doesn’t deserve to be torn down.  Nor do the residents deserve to be painted with the same “homeless druggie” brush.  I’ve known many people to live there, as it’s one of the few places everyday people can still afford in the city, all of whom love it.  

Allowing gentrification isn’t going to solve the problems long ignored by our government.  We need to get back our mental health programs.  We need to stop allowing other provinces to ship their homeless people out west during cold weather months.  We need to make prostitution safer so that we never experience women going missing for decades before someone notices again.  And we need to have some of that compassion our country is so known for around the world for those people in our backyards.

You see Mr. Baron, as “wealthy” as our country may be, not all of us have the luxury of dropping a cool mill on a 600 sq ft condo.  In fact many of us are living month to month just scraping by.  You may even know some of us yourself, we’re really good at blending in.  We look just like you, we just don’t wear eau de asshole.

Maybe if people stopped busying themselves with asking if Vancouver is a “fun city” and took a moment to grow the fuck up, some of these things could be resolved.

Sincerely, 

Your Fellow Resident

Alternative title: Here Is Someone Who Needs To Be Punched In The Face Repeatedly. (Also, could there be a more entitled, elitist, assholey name than “Ethan Baron”?)

Things that can totally fuck off:

I could do without all these guys telling me how much some other guys will appreciate me one day.

And anyway, fuck a day. And fuck those guys.

Theme by paulstraw.