First grade teacher Kaitlin Roig, 29, locked her 14 students in a class bathroom and listened to “tons of shooting” until police came to help.
“It was horrific,” Roig said. “I thought we were going to die.”
She said that the terrified kids were saying, “I just want Christmas…I don’t want to die. I just want to have Christmas.””
Ughhhh. Get your fucking shit together, America. This is not how it’s supposed to be.
Earned a special place in the pantheon of Worst Days Ever, and not even remotely because of this!
I have a weird, creepy rash on my boobs.
And it’s also the time when there’s no paycheck in sight and nothing but stress on the horizon, and then your roommate (who’s actually been letting you stay with her for free, because you’ve known each other since you were 8) gives you a hug and tells you that at 2pm you’re coming with her to a wine tasting she’s going to at the fanciest golf club in town… and there’s to be a massive, delicious buffet.
That is a deeply necessary and relief-bringing time.
Is realizing that because you misinterpreted your contract, your invoice was fucked up.
Because your invoice was fucked up, you’re not getting paid on time, and you could only bill for half of what you thought you could.
Because you’re not getting paid on time and you could only bill for half of what you thought you could, your long-overdue bills are about to head into the emergency red zone where authorities are involved.
Because your long-overdue bills are about to head into the emergency red zone where authorities are involved, you can’t afford even the basic necessities of life.
Because you can’t afford even the basic necessities of life, you’ll never save money.
Because you’ll never save money, you’ll never ever ever ever get out of the fucking reeking pile of mess your life is in, and you’ll certainly never afford to get to New York again.
HAVE A GREAT LONG WEEKEND EVERYBODY! Enjoy all the things you are buying at the places you can afford to go!
That was one of the worst nights of my life as a Vancouverite. I’m so ashamed of how those douchebags disrespected our team, their season and our beautiful city. Heartbreaking.
I don’t think I can live here anymore.
You’re here, you’re wet, and believe me, we’re all so used to it our feet are now webbed.
Please go away… or turn into frequent flyer points so that I can.
“Began exploring how we could to tap into all of the passion” is the new “OHFUCKOHFUCK WE ARE SO SCREWED THEY WON’T STOP YELLING!”
I’m totally stealing it, obvs.
Fuck, I hate that panel van yodeler and her ear-splitting “music” with a white hot rage that has not abated one iota since she first barfed all over pop culture.
Funny or Die? That shark is now JUMPED.