cvxn

I'm Hez. please enjoy my internets!
@Hez on twitter | cvxn on instagram/statigram
stuff I've written for HelloGiggles is here
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chrismohney:

terrysdiary:

David Karp and Jared Leto

INTERNET

Jumping My So-Called Shark

chrismohney:

terrysdiary:

David Karp and Jared Leto

INTERNET

Jumping My So-Called Shark

critink:

Introducing Scumbag Scratcher: the archtype “self-taught tattoo artist.”
Look at how fucking gross that place is. Do you really want someone to be cutting you open on a table with gross empty bottles on it? Without any gloves or sanitation? No because that’s fucking gross. And if he doesn’t care abut sanity, you know he sure as fuck doesn’t care about the finished product.
I don’t want to dedicate too much time towards shitty tattoos, but I might post one of these every once in a while as a friendly reminder about why we don’t get homemade tattoos.

LOL @ “if he doesn’t care about sanity [sic]”

critink:

Introducing Scumbag Scratcher: the archtype “self-taught tattoo artist.”

Look at how fucking gross that place is. Do you really want someone to be cutting you open on a table with gross empty bottles on it? Without any gloves or sanitation? No because that’s fucking gross. And if he doesn’t care abut sanity, you know he sure as fuck doesn’t care about the finished product.

I don’t want to dedicate too much time towards shitty tattoos, but I might post one of these every once in a while as a friendly reminder about why we don’t get homemade tattoos.

LOL @ “if he doesn’t care about sanity [sic]”

sarahb:

What do you think the Venn diagram of people who say “threw up in my mouth a little bit” and “sweet baby Jesus” looks like? Just a circle?

Don’t forget “I just spit _____ all over my monitor!”

I for real saw a lady LOL in some comments at the [egregiously over-hyphenated] word “fuck-tard” the other day, because it was new to her. 

 WE ARE TRYING TO LIVE IN A SOCIETY HERE, PEOPLE.

COME ON.

“While I’m generally silent on the affairs of my biological mother, her recent tirade has taken a gross turn. I have never been approached by Dave Grohl in more than a platonic way. I’m in a monogamous relationship and very happy. Twitter should ban my mother.”
Frances Bean (Via WE ARE YOUR FEK)
Settle down, Starbucks web portal! That’s quite enough rock for one day.

Settle down, Starbucks web portal! That’s quite enough rock for one day.

WHAT THE HELL, INTERNET?

I mean, I know this season doesn’t have the promise of more fine Miles Mendenhall ass, but could a ho get a streaming link to the new episode of Work Of Art already?

carriebenton:

Newsworthy for my single friends: Boyfriend Arm Pillows. Exist and are on sale for $21.49. Not so Newsworthy to my married friends: There is no Husband Arm Pillow. Relax.. you already have a ring.

Yeesh. Even pillows suck at commitment.

carriebenton:

Newsworthy for my single friends: Boyfriend Arm Pillows. Exist and are on sale for $21.49. Not so Newsworthy to my married friends: There is no Husband Arm Pillow. Relax.. you already have a ring.

Yeesh. Even pillows suck at commitment.

lotusmodern:

FUCK TEXAS

jadedfucker:

zeitgeistmovement:

Bill Nye, the harmless children’s edu-tainer known as “The Science Guy,” managed to offend a select group of adults in Waco, Texas at a presentation, when he suggested that the moon does not emit light, but instead reflects the light of the sun.

As even most elementary-school graduates know, the moon reflects the light of the sun but produces no light of its own.

But don’t tell that to the good people of Waco, who were “visibly angered by what some perceived as irreverence,” according to the Waco Tribune.

Nye was in town to participate in McLennan Community College’s Distinguished Lecture Series. He gave two lectures on such unfunny and adult topics as global warming, Mars exploration, and energy consumption.

But nothing got people as riled as when he brought up Genesis 1:16, which reads: “God made two great lights — the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars.”

The lesser light, he pointed out, is not a light at all, but only a reflector.

At this point, several people in the audience stormed out in fury. One woman yelled “We believe in God!” and left with three children, thus ensuring that people across America would read about the incident and conclude that Waco is as nutty as they’d always suspected.

Oh, wow.

WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN

(Source: socialuprooting)

“While I may be a foodie, I admit that I have never had cauliflower before.”
Actual quote from a Yelp review (via sheilamcclear)

(Source: placesweusedtogo)

Cool message, bro, but they immediately lost me at the rookie grammar mistake in the first line:
ITS = possessive, denoting things which belong to “it”
IT’S = contraction of “it is”

Cool message, bro, but they immediately lost me at the rookie grammar mistake in the first line:

  • ITS = possessive, denoting things which belong to “it”
  • IT’S = contraction of “it is”

(Source: monvin)

jomc:

A harrowing, historic week in Egypt - The Big Picture - Boston.com
empty shotgun shells
iamsosorry:risingtensions:


reminds me of ceiling cat

You’re the meaning in my life / You’re the inspiration.

LEAST POPULAR PREP STATION IN THE KITCHEN.

iamsosorry:risingtensions:

reminds me of ceiling cat

You’re the meaning in my life / You’re the inspiration.

LEAST POPULAR PREP STATION IN THE KITCHEN.

(Source: cannibalcomfort)

If there is anything more fun than insidery posts about parties on the other side of the continent, I don’t know what it is

Although I’m guessing it would probably involve a brain shunt.

b5media:

Quite the page turner.

Essential reading.

b5media:

Quite the page turner.

Essential reading.

(Source: p0rcelinaa)

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