cvxn

I'm Hez. please enjoy my internets!
@Hez on twitter | cvxn on instagram/statigram
stuff I've written for HelloGiggles is here
contact me here or just ask me anything

suitep:

iamdawt:

This is a real hoot to watch! (via Watching these two old women fly for the first time is pure gold)

This was really wonderful.

I really, really enjoyed that.

suitep:

iamdawt:

This is a real hoot to watch! (via Watching these two old women fly for the first time is pure gold)

This was really wonderful.

I really, really enjoyed that.

A Tribe Called Red (featuring Northern Voice) - “Sisters”

With a storyline featuring three First Nations (the term by which aboriginal people in Canada identify themselves) sisters preparing to head to the club, the video is an intriguing and intentional attempt at breaking stereotypes. The Native women in this video are not long-haired Pocahontas clones, nor, as the group says, reduced to “monolithic stuck-in-the-past [pictures] of feather and buckskin.” Featuring a rare to the Native community use of female voices at the forefront, soulful PowWow vocalists Northern Voice provide a fresh and empowering take on the modern club banger. This one is a hit for certain. (Spin)

Holy shit, I am feeling this so hard (the video, too). “A Tribe Called Red” (made up of three guys from Ottawa: two-time Canadian DMC Champion DJ Shub, DJ NDN and Bear Witness) is deservedly on the come-up here at home and internationally for their sick beats and club-ready production in support of uniquely aboriginal voices, and you can get a FREE download of their first album HERE.

So hot.

onesmallflowerofeternity:

"Tell me all the bad words you know. Go."

(Source: phototaxis)

soupsoup:

fek:

On The Rapture of Dancing Alive

(or: I Finally Watched That Future Islands Performance and I Feel Changed)

Doing work on my couch last night, I ended up on Letterman, watching the end of a pro forma interview—Nick Offerman—and then the musical performance of the night, some band Letterman was cracking jokes about before they’d even started. The Strypes. I think I remember Letterman saying something about ‘mom picking you all up’ after the show, which was funny, because look at them. He also apparently made a joke about taking them to play lazer tag after the show, which, ha.

But it reminded me that there was this Letterman performance that everyone was talking about a few weeks ago I had yet to watch, this Future Islands thing. I didn’t know exactly what it was that everyone freaked out about, I just remember there being that typical morning-after Internet peak-chatter level of talk that I’ve gotten in the habit of avoiding instinctually, because when you work in Internet, that ubiquitous, concentrated volume of talk about one thing, at least for me, strips away at the joy of it.

So, I watched it.

0:30 (as performance starts): Okay, this sounds very 2006. This all looks very 2006.

0:32: At least that lead singer is moving. Decent two-step. 

[BAD MID-AUGHTS VIBE INTERLUDE: For anyone even remotely paying attention to rock from 2005 onward, the name of the band—Future Islands—sounded gratingly familiar. There were (or still are?) The Futureheads, Islands, and a Jimmy Eat World album called Futures that I’d never listened to. Also: Future (rapper). Everything about it seemed so typical I was pretty convinced that whatever I was missing out on was some sort of schtick, like some band shooting themselves out of cannon. Which, I mean, I love the Arcade Fire, but look at them: In 2014, they’re demanding their fans dress up in costume to their shows. It’s fair skepticism, is the point.]

0:41: Okay, kind of into this post-Morrisey post-synagogue thing and there’s an expressive eyebrow, and is that the thing?

0:45: Wait what’d he just do with his legs.

0:49: Where did his head go what was that, do that ag

0:54: He’s slowing down, maybe that was just a Thing. And he’s touching his chest, is this vamping? Is that what he’s doing? Maybe he’s actually feeling i

1:00: He’s doing the leg thing again and moving his head what even is that? It’s amazing. Okay, I get it, guy has moves. 

1:04: What did he just do with his voice? Wh—Did he grind the note?

1:14: Holy shit he just dropped it to the ground. How did he do that? Where did he learn that mo

1:17: He did the thing with his voice again I swear to god I heard it he’s actually doing that right?

1:29: Oh my god his hand is in a fist and he’s looking out into the audience like the answer is there and they’re all the answer this is really something.

1:33: WHOA did not see that coming, he just punched through the air and followed through with his entire body on that note, it kind of looks like a combination golf swing/victory fist pump but he gets it, I get it, I get wanting to do that at a chorus, that is the physical iteration of that guitar crescendo. 

1:37: His hand in the air, holy shit, there are performances of Les Miz that are less theatrical than what is happ

1:43: And now he’s washing away the light with his hands and he totally grinded that note in his throat, okay, okay, I think I get this now, he’s secretly got a great voice and great moves, this is very solid.

1:52: The camera just went tight on his face and wow this guy is really, truly selling what’s happening here. 

[LARRY SANDERS INTERLUDE: If you’ve ever watched The Larry Sanders Show, you know that the musical performance is usually when Garry Shandling either gets screamed at by Rip Torn about some crazy backstage nonsense or he’s hitting on a celebrity guest. Occasionally he’ll sit there and actually watch the performance, but for the most part Larry Sanders doesn’t care much for his musical guests. I imagine, night in and night out, this is how Letterman feels about his musical guests: A lot of monotony. He’s really seen it all before. And I imagine him talking to a producer or somesuch as the guest is on. Remember, Letterman really loves acts that put their all into it, and say what you will about the Foo Fighters—and there’s plenty to—you can’t say Dave Grohl doesn’t know how to put on a performance, which is why they’re one of Letterman’s favorite acts to have on Late Show. So I imagine this is around the point Letterman looks over his producer’s shoulder, and goes: ‘Hey, wait: Who the hell are these guys?’]

2:07: Ohmygod he’s pounding his chest so hard the mic just picked it up this is amazing bordering on uncomfortable.

2:24: Yes! People do change! They gain one piece but they lose one too! You are making so much sense I am completely on board with this now, this is just, everything, church

2:27: They just went tight on the rest of the band and they’re the most innocuous looking people ever, the bassist looks like whatshername from Chelsey Lately, which I guess is sm

2:30: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT he just grabbed at his shirt and made that noise from his throat again! That was real! And he’s curling his lip into a sneer and BAM he’s back into the moves

2:41: He just did it again I’m so not making this up

2:53: Is he crying? This is all so much but also there will never be enough of it.

2:58: BOOM and he launches into the chorus again and he’s pounding his chest and the mic is picking it up and somewhere Meatloaf just jumped out of his Lay-Z-Boy screaming at the TV like “GO MOTHERFUCKER GO GO GO”

3:14: I am sold, I completely get this, I am watching this again as soon as it’s over because why wouldn’t anyone want to feel anything this much? This is what Joseph Campbell called, when asked about the meaning of life by Bill Moyers, “the rapture of being alive,” and 

3:28: HOLYFUCKINGSHIT HE
3:29: 'SREALLY DOING THE DEATH METAL THING I 
3:30: FEEL LIKE HE JUST REACHED THROUGH THE SCREEN AND 
3:31: IS CHOKING OUT A PART OF MY SOUL 

3:34: And now he’s dancing again and staring out into the audience but dancing harder than he’s danced this entire time and maybe in his entire life, he is dancing with purpose, like he’s going to generate energy or lifeforce by doing so and don’t be over and

3:35: It’s over. It’s all over.

- - -

And this is the point where Letterman comes out and screams: “BUDDY! COME ON! How about that? I’ll take all of that you got!” And Letterman knows what you just saw because he just saw it, and he is equally enraptured himself. Any band who goes on Letterman for the next month, at least—like the one that was on last night—has been completely screwed to hell by this one.

There are so many reasons why this is great, but the three that stuck with me this morning on the way to work were:

1. If you’ve ever danced in the bathroom—and I’ll readily cop to doing so, mostly in high school, before heading out to a party or a date, usually to something as desperate and pathetic, like The Cure’s “Close To Me”—your moves probably somewhat resembled an incredibly watered-down iteration of this. These aren’t bad unkfunky whiteboy moves, either: Dude has rhythm. He’s dancing along with the bassline, and he’s actually moving his feet and hips. 

2. It’s really easy to be cynical about anything so sincere, especially since this lacks the kitsch textures of twee (see: Anderson, Wes) or polished veneer of pop. It’s confusing in the same way Meatloaf and Morrissey are confusing, in that there may be intent and awareness, there may be that allusion to death metal, but where those things normally serve to let an audience know that the artist is in on the joke, here they it’s simply disarming, the acknowledgement that they have you, they’ve got you, you’re done for and now they can do whatever they please with you, like tear at their chest and plead and cry and scare the shit out of you. 

3. Back to dancing in your bathroom: It was so much fun, and in retrospect, expressed so much, and this maybe made you (and definitely made me) recall in a very real way the energy of that stupid fun in a way you (or I) haven’t felt in a while. But more than that, it’s that this band—which has apparently been at it for 11 years now—finally got their shot. They got a spot on Letterman. And whether this is exactly what this guy does every night at his shows, or not, the bottom line is that he went with it, went for it, he did not water down a single thing about what got him to this moment. In fact, he doubled down on it. And the rest of the band played their part, too: They know how to make music, and not complicated music, and probably could’ve thrown themselves into it, too, but that would’ve betrayed what they knew they had to do. They had their one chance in life to make this kind of impact, and they did. And that’s really kind of amazing. Who won’t take all of that?

Please do this more often, Foster. Bravo.

WOW. Glad I watched, because this right here is a star-making performance. (Yours was pretty damn good too, FEK.) That is how you connect with an audience.

Today’s spirit animal is this stone cold addict jonesing for unique, quality curtains at a bargain price. What she has found (close to her home? Worth the trip? These are quibbles! JUST GO!) is so beauuuuuuuutiful she must occasionally reveal it to us in hushed, conspiratorial tones.

Sadly, I regret to inform viewers of this masterpiece that, following a little detective work by one of my FTS colleagues, it would seem her one request of this store was most cruelly and bitterly denied. Where now will her daughters (presumably still being harangued about their deeply offensive life choices involving vertical blinds) shop, and everyone else that flocked to her home, agog at her near superhuman ability to lay her hands on the finest man-made drapery panels ever assembled for less than ten dollars?

And with that injustice bringing a cheap and tawdry curtain down over this dazzlingly accessorized window-covering enthusiast, I declare that the entire Rhode Island Drapery Vending Community is dead to me. 

H/T to iamsosorry for this precious jewel I will cherish for years to come.

photojojo:

Independent filmmaker Rick Mereki traveled over 38,000 miles to 11 different countries to create this simple one minute video. 

Sound like overkill? Watch and be amazed. 

One Minute Video Compiled From 38,000 Mile Trip

via Mobiledia

jenkirkman:

This article was on the HuffPo. While this woman’s opinion is her own and many points can’t be denied, I have my own thoughts (in parenthesis) on some of her reasons why being married is great. So I present - a few answers to 50 Reasons To Love Being Married from a divorcee who says 50 Reasons To…

Preach, Kirkman.

danforth:

If you need to test if your tear ducts work, you can watch the video.

This is magnificent.

danforth:

If you need to test if your tear ducts work, you can watch the video.

This is magnificent.

(Source: ForGIFs.com)

natashaleggero:

(Click here to read this letter on NatashaLeggero.com)

On New Years Eve I made what I thought was a harmless joke http://dailym.ai/1crNs71

Here is my response:

Well hello America!

It’s been a busy few days but rest assured, I have received all of your messages and have been busy…

This is terrific and so is she for responding this way…

And I come from a long line of veterans, who all have great senses of humour.

played 1012591 times

My fave taco place mentioned on Twitter that their mole sauce has trace amounts of gluten (I eat the chicken mole all the time), and although I was devastated at first, I forgave them by way of this video, linked in my last tweet.

You’re gonna want to click it, if it’s been a while since you got down with some quality cheese.

UPDATE:jajaja This just made the day" was their reply, so of course I closed with "I expect you all to be dressed like that the next time I come in. Don’t forget the wind machine. AND THE DOVES."

I fucking love that place.

suitep:

danforth:

impossibilityintoreality:

So I work at a pet hospital, and we got a sick chameleon today that we had to treat. Needless to say we got a little attached to her and named her Susan. Her pillow was a cotton ball, her blankets were gauze squares and her head-warmer was a top of a glove filled with water. :)

GET WELL SOON SUSAN

Oh Susan. Stay away from the tequila.

The fact that she’s wearing green in this performance (and the dance moves starting at the 16 second mark) is my favourite part of this amazing coincidence. (OR IS IT A COINCIDENCE?)

suitep:

danforth:

impossibilityintoreality:

So I work at a pet hospital, and we got a sick chameleon today that we had to treat. Needless to say we got a little attached to her and named her Susan. Her pillow was a cotton ball, her blankets were gauze squares and her head-warmer was a top of a glove filled with water. :)

GET WELL SOON SUSAN

Oh Susan. Stay away from the tequila.

The fact that she’s wearing green in this performance (and the dance moves starting at the 16 second mark) is my favourite part of this amazing coincidence. (OR IS IT A COINCIDENCE?)

So proud of my friend Paul Anthony (aka “Arsenio Paul” in the video above) whose terrific - and extremely sweet - submission actually WON the contest and is getting him flown to LA to be part of the taping of the new Arsenio Hall Show! Watch the video and you’ll see this is truly a lifelong dream… and actually pretty adorable.

bailey-confusion-at-its-finest:

imperialdalek:

toukos:

i’m having this played at my funeral

I was alright until the antler woman

I feel like Michael Scott made this video

I love how the “bad employee” is even too lazy IRL to learn the script.

standardgrey:

Saul Bass - Title Champ (Full documentary) 

Attn: Type & cinema nerds. 

Oooh! Thank you!

Theme by paulstraw.